Where do you find the compromise between safe and steady vs. risky and rewarding. For me since I graduated college that has been my biggest dilemma especially since mamma bear passed. Everything in the world lies on a spectrum. Whether that spectrum reads safe or risky, smart or dumb, worth it or not the decision to act is the only thing that pulls someone one way over another. unfortunately that "action" may cause more headache than happiness or it could be the thing that changes your life drastically for the better. Sometimes these drastic changes come at the less less less than optimal cost of something precious, yet God has a way of finding that silver lining for us to hold onto. Recently I attended a service where my Uncle James was the associate pastor. I took many things from this day, but one thing in particular i wanted to share today. He talked about how amazing God is and how people go through hardships on a daily basis whether that's in our own world or someone else's. Paraphrasing-Ly he said we as a sinners saved by God have at one point or another questioned God as to why he would allow these things to occur if he was so powerful? Uncle James immediately followed that up with if these things hadn't happened, how can he prove to you that he can pull you from the evil with the right guidance? In other words how can God prove his worth to you if you don't experience some form of hardship to overcome, where he placed his hand? This sermon got me thinking about mamma bear passing, then a wedding, then my father in law passing, not getting the forward traction I'm looking for in my career, wanting to take over a family business, yet getting hit with the TWIN BOMB, wanting a home of my own but not being financially or mentally in the right space to do that (yet), and all of this happening in a span of 23 months. With this thought in mind I can say"crippling" is a very real, very powerful description that accurately describes how I feel often and it comes out to my wife as scared, which worries her and I don't want to do that anymore. Especially with the 2 peanut sized, what mamma bear would call "Nigglets" on the way. All of this said, God has done some amazing things I
have to believe are for my family. 1 I came out of the "mother passing funk" in less than 9 months. 2 I've taken care of my wife to the best of my abilities with her loss. 3 I've moved on from a stalling career to try to something new despite the unknown. 4 I've managed to rope a crippling 13k debt to $100 (that I can pay off but keep to EOM to pay off for credit score purposes). 5 I raised my credit score from 480 to 702 (shout out Vegas). 6 Two personal cars (paid), one cleaning business van (paid), wife killing me...(hasn't happend...yet). 7 Approved for my 1st apartment come March. 8 Faith in God strengthened. 9 Twin Nigglets healthy so far so good! 10 Wife and myself still happy, still give kisses, still communicating, still arguing but I'm still in love with her a the end of the day. This post started out one way in my head and took a hard left turn, but for some reason this left, (turn)ed out to be the RIGHT direction for me today. So until next time,
Stay BL(str)ESSED
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